Adult Dating

Yes, I lived through that period, so tough, so confusing, what should I get for my girl/boy? What do you get for your new love? How much should you spend? How personal should your gift be?

Christmas is a magical time of year, especially for those of us paired off and in love. If you are in a new relationship, however, Christmas can be a bit unnerving. You would want to get the best for your new love, but what is the best?

While, there really is no blanket system that will work for every relationship or every person, but here are 3 surefire rules that may make your holiday shopping a little bit easier on you, your piece of mind, and perhaps your wallet.

(1) 1st rule –K.I.S.S.

That is, simply buy a small but meaningful Christmas gift for your significant other. Pick out something that you know that your significant other would appreciate but would not necessarily purchase for themselves. The more personal, the better, and price should not really be a consideration with this kind of gift. If you find a book that your significant other has been talking about non stop for a month on the half off shelf, consider yourself lucky and maybe throw in a pretty bookmark.

(2) 2nd rule –Money is not everything

Never dwell on the price of a gift. You should not have to set spending limits. Do worry about the price tag of the present as long as it is sensitive and meaningful. A very expensive but thoughtless gift is not, most likely, going to carry the same meaning as an inexpensive but very thoughtful gift. Get something that your “dear” would appreciate, it might be a simple book, a DVD or even a hairclip. Chinese has a sayings “A thousand miles to send a goose feather, is the thoughts that counts”.

(3) 3rd rule –go with your heart

Do not worry too much about what you think social expectations are in terms of Christmas shopping. Do what you FEEL is right. If commercials are telling you that your significant other wants a ride on lawnmower, but your gut is saying that they want a new movie and a night at home with you, or tickets to their favorite team’s next home game, chances are that you are probably the one that is right. After all, you are the one that is in the relationship.

As an added bonus, I am going to share this with you folks out there. A simple rule of thumb is, if you are not sure, anything that initiates together time or an outing/activity is a pretty good and a little bit unusual gift item.

So, do give some consideration on a Christmas matinee to see that movie that your sweetheart has been talking about non-stop. Make a night of it with dinner before and maybe take-home dessert afterwards. Be creative, be thoughtful, but most importantly be you.

As an individual raised with little opportunity to develop social skills, I had a particularly difficult time with the dating scene. I am happily married now, but during my years of dating, I felt that it would never happen. With the many years using online dating services, I have learned many usefull ways of establishing positive initial interaction. In this article I will share with you ideas that will give you a little more ease with dating and coping with the anxiety on the first date.

First, there are a few questions we must address and bring out into the open. How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting? What discussion or prefacing is required with your potential date prior to the meeting? How does this potential date feel about you, or does this person also share in this anxiety? After the rendezvous is established where will you meet to insure safety, enjoyment and relaxation?

Lets dive into the first question: How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting? This question begs of the actual legitimacy of the potential date. Is this, person really genuine? What is this persons background? These questions are not as easy to answer, but we can start with the following. The method of communication is incredibly important. Phone communication although a little nerve racking, can break the ice and establish an initial understanding of who this person is. Try to avoid creating a mental image of this person as this can really increase expectations and also give the other person an unfair disadvantage (i.e. relating the voice to a physical mental image). The phone conversation can also shed light on this person’s general character.

This leads to what discussions or prefacing is required. It is important to acknowledge that this place we live is very diverse and the person’s character is one of the most important attributes of desirability. Be softly direct when inquiring about his or her background without invoking the feeling that you are drilling the person which is a real “turn-off”. I have used this idea many times which turn’s out to be a really enjoyable exercise. Write down a few background questions to ask prior to calling the potential date and go from there. The conversation can take on with its own energy from there and it will be very easy to get a good feeling for the person. That is to say, if the person is not forthright, it will most likely come through in the conversation.

In most cases, the other person will exhibit the same anxiety as you. Keep this in mind, as it will help your nerves a little. Being confident, honest, direct and respectful will help you and the date feel an increased level of comfort whether your on the phone, or on the first date.

On this first date, make sure that you select, or mutually agree to a place that will help the date flourishes but keep the other person wanting more. Obviously, you should select a meeting place that is well lit and where there will be many eyes watching you for increased safety. However, the place that you will spend the most time should be softly lit so that most of the concentration can be focused on the content of the conversation and less on physical characteristics. More importantly, span the first date no more than that of a small snack. You can consider this a “weed-out” session. If there is chemistry during the date, he or she will leave waiting more. Conversely, if there is no chemistry, not much time was lost and not much money was spent.

Remember, these important ideas to engender ease and confidence during the initial contact through online dating services. Choose a method of communication prior to the meeting that will help you determine the persons forthrightness. Understand that the other person is probably feeling the same level of anxiety to which you can offer the comfort. Finally, choose a place that demonstrates safety and allows for a short but memorable experience.

Over the past few years or so, I’ve had the chance to mingle and meet many successful people. Actually, many of them I have known for years and I meet them regularly, but I guess I had just taken the fact that they were successful for granted. When I realised I could learn so much from them, and see what they do to be successful, maybe I can be successful too.

I ask all of them a simple question: “How can I become successful like you?” and the reply I always get is along the lines of “How successful you are is dependent on the quality of your relationships.”

This has got me thinking and pondering on the topic of RELATIONSHIPS for a long time now, and people who know me well enough, have always said that they can see a change in me, when they do.

And because the Law of Attraction plays a crucial role in my life, I think that if I am Deliberately Creating or attracting more of what I want then how can I maintain good relationships with people who may not appreciate what I want? How can I have what I want while at the same time allow the other person to have what they want? Especially if what we each desire something different?

HARMONY

If you’re in a relationship (it doesn’t have to be a personal one!), one of the main things you tend to look out for is harmony. In my house, if I leave things lying around, I need to take into consideration how it may affect someone else, but if it’s just in my room, then I don’t.

The only way to get what you want, while the other gets what they want to is through Clear Communication. Most disagreements come about NOT by deliberately disagreeing, but by being in DEFAULT mode and not understanding what the other person is wanting.

Here are 4 steps to Crystal Clear Communication that will help maintain the intention of being in harmony.

1. Identify your desire: Become crystal clear about what you want and why you want it.

2. Effectively communicate your desire and intention to the other person.

3. Communicate segment by segment. Take time to be sure you are fully communicating and fully understood.

4. Understand your emotions and how you are feeling as this will help you tell whether you are in harmony, or not, and what to do to move towards to it.

One ‘trap’ I’ve noticed is that I often think I already know how a person is going to respond to my communication–and according to Law of Attraction, if I think they are going to react strongly, they most likely will.

The trick is to BELIEVE that the Universe wants to give me the desire of my heart AND maintain HARMONY in my relationships. How? Ah, that’s the fun part. The Universe has an infinite number of ways to achieve this feat…that’s half the fun…wondering and watching how it will work out.

But why am I telling you this as a musician? Well, it’s a success secret that’s really worked with me, and I’ve received so much abundance in terms of prosperity, money, wealth, and much more by creating harmonious relationships where people build awareness, trust and love for each other that they work with each other in the exchange of “energies.”

Do you have a secret dream, desire or hope? Get in touch with us to learn how YOU can live your dream!

© Kavit Haria, The Musicians’ Coach

Think of something crazy.

Think of something insane.

Think of some outrageous line you heard somewhere that you would have a hard time forgetting.

Think of something negative and put it in a positive context.

Think of what the typical guy does and make sure you avoid it.

Think of what you really want and don’t be afraid if it sounds a bit selfish.

These are all ways to get your personal ad rolling. You want to capture your audience (women) with samples of the best scenes and the best footage of your life, in a brief preview known as your personal ad.

The creation of the ad is a combination of knowing what’s out there, and therefore what to avoid, basic psychology understanding, and a mannerism which is distinct enough to connect with a percentage of women out there.

Curiosity, anger, intrigue, and a happy ending are powerful emotions to generate for the reader. What are your controversial thoughts? Write them down. Now choose a way to combine all of these things in a style that has punch. Look at popular magazine or newspaper articles for examples of writing styles that work well.

Elicit what makes you tick and then proceed to write a monster.

Copyright © 2006 Vittorio Norman

Happy and Optimistic Temperament

By optimism I do not mean a refusal to look at the less happy aspects of life. I mean the tendency to find life worth-while. Each individual is somewhat like a magnet, passing over the experiences of life. He picks out and attracts to himself that which is in harmony with his own personality. Both optimism and pessimism are reflections of personality.

They reveal much about the basic structure of the individual. Those who pick out, and attract to themselves the finer and happier experiences of life, will also both get and contribute the happier experiences of marriage. The person who finds life and marriage more worth-while for himself, will be more likely to make it more worth-while for his life partner.

Good Mental Adjustment

The person who selects the happier aspects of life will not be unduly bothered by little things. He will find life much too interesting and worth-while to get his feelings easily hurt, or to be touchy, grouchy, or lonesome.

A special study has been made on the connection between the neurotic and marriage success. The most successful marriages were those in which neither of the couple was neurotic. The next best was when only the wife was neurotic and the husband not. The next was when the husband, not the wife was neurotic. The worst situation is when both are neurotic.

Wholesome attitude of give and take

The person who has enough resources within himself, and can adapt himself to different kinds of situations does not always have to have his own way. Since he lives more happily himself, he is a happier and more satisfactory person to live with in the intimacies of marriage. The person who is thoughtful and considerate toward his partner makes the marriage happier, not only for the other, but for himself as well.

Attitude of Sharing Hardships, Difficulties & Joys

Every person needs the support of others. It is certainly undesirable for a person to be always dumping his troubles upon someone else. On the other hand, it is not desirable to keep one’s troubles to one’s self. Marriage is a partnership which rightly includes the worse as well as the better. The person who bottles up his troubles within him self so as not to distress his life partner, poisons himself.

Troubles, worries, and fears need to be shared, as well as joys. As to the children, they do need protection from pressures beyond their strength. But they should not be over-protected. Many families have become stronger during hard times and troubles because they shared their difficulties with the children.

Copyright Statement

This article was written by Shei Tan and may be reproduced on any dating & personal development-related website provided this copyright statement is displayed unedited in its entirety at the foot of the article and you use the exact same HTML code to ensure a clickable link back to the author’s site. Further articles are also available. Contact the author for more information. Copyright © www.christian-dating-guide.com

So often when we think of our ideal mate we give them qualities and attributes that one person may or may not be able to possess. These qualities can be how they look, how they treat us, to something like what kind of job that they have. Are these ideas realistic? Sometimes yes, and sometimes we are way off the mark. A good exercise may be to write down these ideals and see how realistic we are.

By writing down the characteristics we desire in a potential partner we can learn a lot about ourselves. We often look for characteristics in another person that we do not have. Are we looking for someone stable? Are we looking for someone who has equal professional success that we do? Going through the exercise of writing down as many qualities and characteristics helps us to look and see if we are being reasonable.

Personally speaking, I adore tall, dark-haired men, and if they are balding, all the better. Does that mean that I should look only for tall, dark haired men? Most likely, it just means that I like them the best, and that I shouldn’t eliminate everyone else in the dating pool. If I would have stuck to this thought, I would have had about 1/10th of the dates that I have had.

Once you write everything down that you want and desire, you can see are you looking for good qualities in a person, or simply someone to hang on your arm. My guess is that we would easily trade in a few of those superficial qualities for good character traits in a person. Another thing you may benefit from is just by looking, at your list and reviewing past interests.

By reviewing past interests you can see if you are dating people that have qualities that you desire. If you value honesty, and find that you are dating people that aren’t as honest as what you like, you need to readjust your radar, and start looking for people who have the characteristics you want.

By writing down qualities you want in another person, you can tell what you really want and desire. You can also make adjustments and see that are you cultivating relationships with those who have those qualities. It may also be a useful tool in a current relationship to see how that other person measures up. Knowing what you want, is always beneficial when it comes to a relationship, take time out to discover what you want, and decide if you’re being reasonable.