Adult Dating

“Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.” ~ Diana Jordan

“Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive Gents were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food-preparation area. It was exhausting work; the Gents were getting tired just watching. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television.” ~ Dave Barry

Switching the channels back and forth helps men think about and solve their problems. It also de-stresses them. There is something hypnotic in the motion of clicking and images turning. They are not really paying attention to what is showing; instead, their mind is churning some solution to whichever problem is worrying them at the moment.

Have you ever noticed that in most cases, political cartoons invariably depict a man sitting in front of the TV holding the remote while he makes a comment about some current situation? That explains this whole issue, doesn’t it?

Women have a hard time with men who sit in front of the TV looking lost in space. Just because we might be doing something, it doesn’t imply that everybody else should be doing something, especially our spouses. We should be able to understand that there are rituals that are absolutely masculine and stop bothering about them.

A Word of Advice:

Ladies: When you see your spouse ruminating about something that is obviously worrying him, go fetch the remote and give it to him. He will be forever grateful to you and may even buy you some jewelry.

Gents: Say “When there is something bothering you, you need someone to talk to; well, I need the remote, so let me be. I will come out of this meditative state soon enough, feeling re-energized.” If she keeps complaining say: “I missed you too, honey. Now, give me second, will ya?”

Are you considering an affair? Is your attention focused on someone outside of your relationship? Before you make a move, consider this – think before you cheat! Thinking about cheating on your partner is the first step to avoid opening up your relationship to emotional conflict, confusion, despair, and potential loss.

Let’s take a look at why you cheat. What is going on in the relationship? Your level of satisfaction with yourself, your partner, and the relationship plays a major role in answering this question. Where are you on the satisfaction scale? Are you and your partner continuing to share a dream for the future? Are you sexually compatible? Do you still care and show a deep concern that is coming from your heart? The level of satisfaction that you derive from the relationship is important to look at in order to give you a general, and often better, perspective of how you are feeling, what your next step might be, and where you are headed.

Also, consider how you are feeling about yourself. Is your self-esteem high? What would you need to help reinforce and reinstate the good feelings you used to have about yourself? Take a look in the mirror. Is your reflection one of an honest and open person or are you ready to conceal one of the biggest lies of your lifetime? Look into your own eyes and search your soul for who you are. Searching your “self” helps to ground you and will keep you focused. Think about where you fit into the relationship equation and consider what you want for yourself and then how to get it. Would opening the relationship and cheating on your spouse or partner change you life in a more meaningful or a more destructive way? Ask yourself, what are the risks and benefits of opening this relationship to a third party? Then look at your partner and ask the same questions of your primary relationship.

Decision-making ability is sometimes left by the wayside when chemistry is high and a physical attraction is strong. What can you gain? Will this be a two-sided win-win or a three-sided lose-lose-lose proposal? A quick fix to a sexual urge is often the beginning of the affair. It feels good; it’s titillating, new, exciting and different. Okay, there is something to be said about that. But let’s look at the flipside. Now you have a secret, a dirty little secret. Secrets are exciting on their own, but they separate us from others and ourselves. The affair becomes a private place to retreat to both in reality and in your mind. What are the downsides of cheating? Number one is GUILT. Guilt is a side effect of having an affair. Guilt takes a lot of energy and is a tremendous distraction from your primary relationship. Creating emotional conflict is another side effect of an affair. Torn between two lovers is a painful place to be. On one hand you have a long-term commitment with your partner at stake and on the other you have a new relationship that will surely divert your attention.

Take a closer look at your motives for wanting to cheat on your partner. If you don’t take a good long and hard look you will be destined to living in a web of lies. What do you have to lose? For some it may be a ho-hum inconsequential relationship that has been emotionally sapping them, but for many it may be years of hard work and commitment and possibly even losing the love of your life. Consider using your brain (the one above your shoulders) and avoid a lot of the hurt that you and your partner will inevitably endure. Unless your relationship is super-evolved to include another person, think before you cheat!The love you save may be your own.

In the past few articles, we’ve discussed the first 3 of the 5 most common communication mistakes: Case Building, Story Telling, and Message Assuming.

Case building is the first choice we are faced with in communication. It is deciding whether we want to build a case against somebody by gathering evidence to be used against them, or whether we want to build a connection with them.

Story telling is when we tell ourselves a story about an observation — and then believe it. We see our lover come to bed with flannel pajamas on, decide they must not want to be intimate (and no longer find us attractive) and then begin pouting about it without ever checking out the reality.

The third mistake is Message Assuming - that is, assuming that the person we are talking to actually understands our message in the way that we intended. Or that we understood theirs. We talk and talk, trying to explain ourselves, yet never check that the other person understands us.

The fourth mistake is Cup Stuffing. This is trying to get somebody to listen or do something for you when they are already in overwhelm - their cup is full with all the challenges of the day. The baby is crying, dinner has to be cooked, the kids need your help, and the boss is calling from work–and now you want me to listen to your problems?

When people are in need of empathy themselves (empathy is the process of listening, understanding and feeding back what they heard) they are unable to hear what we are saying. It’s not until we give them some empathy for their feelings and needs that they will be able to hear us.

Paul and I run into this a lot when I get home from school. We both have full cups from our busy days and if one of us tries to stuff more into the other’s cup - stuffing things like problems that crept up in the software, emotional upsets with co-workers or students - then we end up with two very snitty and unhappy people.

The answer? Learning to give empathy to the other before unloading our own issues.mAnd how does one do this? Through the Language of Peace. The Language of Peace is the process of giving and receiving empathy.

The Language of Peace, based on Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication has four distinct steps that help people connect in a heart-felt process:

- state the observation, “When you saw the trash still in the kitchen after asking 3 times…”

- then find the feeling by ask, “Were you feeling frustrated…?”

- then find the need …”because you’re needing some cooperation and support?”

- then ending by making a request. The most useful request is to ask, “Would you mind telling me what you heard me say?”

That way you’ll know if you really understood what was going on for them… and sometimes… just saying the words that connect their feelings and needs can be incredibly soothing to the person receiving empathy.

Here’s an assignment: the next time you get together with your beloved, a friend, or somebody in your family, ask them…

“Tell me what has been making your life less than wonderful these days?”

Then follow the steps of the Language of Peace.

It would sound like this: “So, when you loaned your sister the money to get her car fixed and she spent it on a new skirt, were you feeling a little frustrated and disappointed because you have a need for honesty and for the safety of the people you love?”

Not understanding these mistakes can cost you the love of the people most important to you. We’ve worked with parents who haven’t talked to their grown kids for years over a misunderstanding - siblings who no longer talk after a disagreement - and of course divorcees… whose relationships didn’t need to end, but who didn’t have the communication tools to make it through.

This is not just a ‘little report’. This an opening to a communication process that can help you avoid some of the most painful, intimacy-destroying, relationship-wrecking communication mistakes around (I know… I’ve tried all of them!)

I realize that even with my great and wonderful teaching skills it will take more than one read-through to really make these skills your own. Read this several times. Print it out, read it out loud with your spouse before going to bed, and when you wake up. Take it on your vacation to remind yourself what you really want from your relationship and what you want to avoid….

If you would like more information on how to identify and avoid any of the 5 relationship-wrecking mistakes, you get more information at our web-site, including audio interviews that take you step-by-step through the process.

Good luck on your grand adventure. We would love to hear your success stories on how you applied these communication principles.

Every man thinks he will never have a chance of dating a really beautiful woman. All I get to hear is excuse after excuse such as “Well, she is just out of my league” or “I don’t think I’m rich or good looking enough”. What a load of horseshit!

Look …

First of all me and all of my friends are not rich, not famous and we certainly don’t have model looks. We just know all the tricks, techniques and secret knowledge to attract and pull women left, right and center.

Are we special? No not at all. We just know how the dating game is played.

Have you ever noticed that there are certain men out there who seem to have a natural talent when it comes to women? Whenever they are having a conversation with a hot woman, they talk in a very different style and tone than when they would be talking to me, you or his buddies.

And women seem to be loving it. They smile, giggle and start to touch his arm all the time.

What do these guys do that makes women attracted to them so quickly? I tell you what it is: It’s called being CHEEKY!

You see, women don’t respond sexually to guys who pay them compliments, act overly nice and try to invite them to a coffee right away. Women ignore these guys.

But whenever a man who is slightly arrogant, cocky and cheeky to them comes along they seem to get attracted to him within seconds. In fact, every woman is just WAITING for him to ask for her phone number so she can go on a date with him.

These guys aren’t particularly handsome and they don’t drive a fancy sports car either. They just know how to talk to women so they get sexually attracted to them.

You have to learn that paying compliments, being polite and nice to women just doesn’t hit those emotional trigger buttons that gets them attracted. But if you are a cheeky and cocky towards them, the magic happens.

So how do you do this?

Simple: Whenever you are talking to a woman, act just a bit arrogant but make a joke out of it. Here’s an example:

“You know, has mommy never told you not to stare at cute guys like me? You are sooo bad you know that?”

BAM, she’s hooked!

The secret of attracting beautiful women really isn’t how much money you got or how good looking you are, it’s how fast you can push a woman’s buttons that make her attracted to you.

Now start practicing!

Countless times individuals want to hold on to a love that is not healthy because many years have been invested. They say things like “we’ve been together for all these years, why leave.” Sometimes people stay in a bad relationship because it looks good to the outside world or because they are unsure what life would be like without their mate. However, deep inside their hearts they long to experience a truly fulfilling love.

I held on to an unhealthy relationship for 7 years before I came to the realization that it was not worth it for me to hang on any longer. The first year was the good year and the rest were off and on, and filled with disrespect, dishonesty, and emotional abuse. I held on because we had one thing in common, and I thought it was enough to make a future. I honestly believed we loved each other, and that in the end we would marry. I was wrong, and once I began to experience real love I realized that for years I had held on to an empty dream.

The term “unhealthy relationship” is thrown around so often by so many, that I feel compelled to explain what I mean by this term. I mean consistent destructive, abusive, disrespectful, unsupportive, uncaring, and demoralizing behavior. I mean the kind of deeds that make you feel anxious to take your partner around your friends and family, for fear of humiliation or embarrassment. I mean constant withdrawal and abandonment, and loveless actions and responses.

What happens in an unhealthy relationship is not to be confused with the constant minor annoyances within a healthy relationship. Nor the brief phases that partners go through, which make them seem distance. There are aspects of love that do cause minor hurts and aggravations, but may not warrant leaving a gratifying relationship. We may not like it or even admit it, but love can hurt. We are imperfect beings, so we tend to have personality issues, which we bring into every relationship we have with other imperfect beings. The result is often minor bickering, power struggles, and hurt feelings. However, mature adults who see value in their relationships talk over these problems and eventually work them out. They usually become closer and develop a keen sense of understanding.

There is a difference between an unhealthy relationship and a healthy relationship with normal human clashing. If you are unsure of the kind of relationship or friendship you are in, evaluate it, and pray for discernment. Ask yourself these few questions:

• Does this person have my best interest at heart more often than not?
• Does this person have positive things to say to me more often than not?
• Am I proud to have others see my relationship with this person?
• Does this person forgive me easily when I mess up?
• Does this person show me genuine love?
• Do I feel valued in this relationship?
• Do I smile and laugh when I am with this person?
• Am I supported in this relationship even when I am silly, angry, unhappy, insecure, or sad?
• Do I feel free to be myself around this person?
• Would others think this person abuses me?

  If you find that you are in a relationship or a friendship that is not healthy for you, don’t be afraid to move on. Don’t think you can change the other person, just go. To linger longer than you should will only drain you and could possibly make you bitter. Refuse to be used, abused, hurt, misunderstood, and degraded. Know that something or someone better is out there for you.

  If you find that your relationships and friendships are fulfilling, but have small issues, keep working at it. Keep talking it out, and keep being honest and open. We all have issues to work through, and as a result experience relationship struggles. We can work it out if we keep working at it.

In love relationships, there is a set of steps guaranteed to inflame a disagreement and a set of steps to diffuse a disagreement.

Here are some sure fire ways to inflame a disagreement.

1. Be offended when your partner disagrees with you. How dare they!

2. Think helpful and loving thoughts such as “How could you possibly see this situation in any other way but my way?”

Forget that you chose this person because you liked how they thought and saw things.

3.Believe you have a monopoly on truth and your view is the only one that could possibly be correct.

4. Fight hard for the right to be right.

5. Try to convince, debate, and argue your partner into seeing the current issue and everything your way.

It does NOT work.

The Beatles got it right when they sang:

“Try to see it my way, we can keep on talking ’til we can’t go on. Try to see it your way, run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone.”

6. Bring up volumes of evidence from the past to prove your point and throw it up in the face of your partner. Then wonder why things get worse. It’s like throwing gas on a fire and wondering why the fire got worse, since the gas was wet.

Since ancient times roses are considered to be the symbol of love, and for centuries giving someone a rose has been considered a beautiful gesture. Because roses are involved in so many stories and legends each type of rose has its own meaning, so you can say that roses speak their own language.

Nowadays roses can be made more beautiful with the help of special inscriptions and other enhancements, and you can make your loved ones a really beautiful gift by giving them a special unique rose that will certainly impress them. You can do this without leaving your house, with the help of the Internet. You can find special stores on the Internet that sell customized unique roses and deliver them to whomever you want together with a message from you if you want. This will definitely be a present that they will never forget.

There is large variety of special single roses or rose bouquets that you can find available to order. Here are a few beautiful examples of what you can offer your loved ones :

If you want something simple you can offer them a single stem rose, that has a customized message on it. This message can be anything from ‘Happy birthday’, ‘i love you’, or even ‘will you marry me’. These single roses also have a special wrapping around it.

If you want something more impressive, you can send a customized rose bouquet. This will contain the freshest roses, wrapped in an unique bouquet, and that can have your special messages printed on their petals. This bouquet may even have 30 roses in it, so it will surely impress.

You can also make some combinations with roses and other nice gifts like chocolate or champagne. Your loved one can receive a beautiful single rose together with a box containing the finest chocolate, and a love message from you. or, she can receive the rose (or rose bouquet) together with a bottle of luxury champagne.

Also, if you would like, you can send an artificial silk rose to your loved one, so she can keep it for a long time. These silk roses can also be sent with a special message on them or together with chocolate or champagne.

All the roses are very fresh and the bouquets are arranged by professional florists, so they would be a beautiful perfect gift for anyone!

Has this ever happened to you? You’re at a bar or nightclub and you see this lovely lady across the way that you’re attracted to and dying to meet.

You keep watching her for a long time, waiting for the right time and opportunity to approach her and meet her. You keep pondering and stalling. This can go on even after an hour of trying to get up your nerve to approach her. So, you keep procrastinating.

Well, guess what happens when you hesitate? I’m sure you’ve heard of the expression, “You snooze, you lose!” What will happen is before you know it she will get up and leave or even worse, some other guy makes a move on her and beats you to the punch.

You must never, never wait for the perfect opportunity to meet single women you are attracted to and want to meet. You must approach her right then and there without hesitation. Just do it! Do it now! The more time you take to ponder your decision as to when you should make your move, the more time you will have to talk yourself out of it.

If you become a procrastinator when it comes to meeting and approaching women, you will see one opportunity after another lost to meet all those hot & sexy women you desire.

One of the biggest reasons I was always successful with women was because of my “take action attitude.” When I saw a woman I’d like to meet I never hesitated. I never gave myself time to think about whether I should approach her or not. I just took action and did it. I had a “do it now” mentality.

With practice, you too can develop this mentality. When you do, everything will come naturally. You will approach women immediately without hesitation. With this “can do” mentality you will come across as confident in the eyes of women that you approach. You know what you want and go after it. Trust me guys, women just love confident men. Always remember this fact and conduct yourself accordingly, to take advantage of this girl-getting personality trait.

One of the things that works to keep relationships alive is spending quality time with each other. In this day of the information age, it is becoming increasingly difficult to carve out the necessary time to nurture our relationships. What with long work hours, helping kids with their homework, transporting them around to their extracurricular activities, getting dinner, cleaning up and going through the bedtime routine, what time is left?

Unless you orchestrate the time for your relationship, other less important things will crowd in and take what precious little time you do have. Pick a night that will be “date night” with your partner and make a game out of being as creative as you can be. Try to see how many things you can do without spending money.

To get you started, I’ve come up with some suggestions to help you for the next year. What follows are 52 ideas for how to spend creative time together without spending money. Feel free to add or modify any of the items on the list to suit your particular relationship and circumstances.

WINTER

1. Take a drive to look at the Christmas decorations.

2. Play cards—perhaps strip poker.

3. Watch a movie together.

4. Go outside and have a snowball fight.

5. Get some finger paints and create your own body art with each other as your canvass.

6. Go sleigh riding.

7. Go ice skating.

8. Work out or exercise together.

9. Stage your own improvisation show.

10. Sing to each other.

11. Review or create a photo album or scrapbook of your memories together.

12. Play a board game—perhaps chess, Scrabble or Twister.

13. Go to a book store, get coffee and read for hours.

SPRING

14. Work on a remodeling project together.

15. Plan and complete a yard work project together.

16. Do the spring cleaning together—room by room. When done, reward yourself by making love in the room you’ve cleaned.

17. Put on old clothes and mud wrestle after some drenching rain.

18. Give each other a massage.

19. Play catch—football, baseball, softball or Frisbee.

20. Go to a car dealer and test drive the car of your dreams.

21. Shoot basketball together.

22. Dance together.

23. Take a shower together and wash each other—everywhere.

24. Take a free adult education class together.

25. Go to a mall and have a contest to see which one of you can get the most free samples.

26. Go rollerblading or bike riding.

SUMMER

27. Build a campfire and roast marshmallows.

28. Go swimming or skinny dipping.

29. Give each other a manicure or pedicure.

30. Go somewhere crowded to people watch.

31. Go to a free outdoor event, perhaps a concert.

32. Lie on a blanket outside and watch the clouds or stars.

33. Go on a picnic.

34. Watch a fireworks display.

35. Be creative and engage in sexual role plays. Be anyone you’d like to be for the night who is also exciting for your partner.

36. Sit by the water somewhere.

37. Do a prolonged strip tease for each other.

38. Have a water balloon fight.

39. Sit outside and read poetry to each other.

FALL

40. Go for a drive together.

41. Go window shopping.

42. Incorporate food into your love making—chocolate syrup, whipped cream, fondue, strawberries—anything you and your partner enjoy.

43. Call or write to someone you haven’t had contact with in a while.

44. Cook something together.

45. Spend an evening just talking with each other. Talk about the things you have done, plans you have for the future, important people in your lives or current events.

46. Take a bubble bath together.

47. Go to a free movie or museum.

48. Take a drive and find the potential in old houses and their properties.

49. Create an imaginary story together—either orally or in written form.

50. Take turns being each other’s genie in a bottle by fulfilling your partner’s every wish and fantasy.

51. Play in the fallen leaves.

52. Create an exciting scavenger hunt that ends in your bed.

Now you have 52 suggestions for things to do with your partner for every week of the year divided by season. Certainly you don’t have to follow my suggestions. Feel free to add your own or to repeat your favorites as often as you’d like.

The main point is not to see how kinky you can get. The idea is to keep your relationship alive by making time together a priority. It is important that you find things to do as a couple that you can both enjoy. If you have vastly different interests then you can enter this with the spirit of taking turns and each agree to happily participate in the activity chosen by the one whose turn it is that week.

As long as you make a habit of making your relationship a priority and allocating time each week for rejuvenation of the feelings that attracted you in the first place, then you stand a good chance of staying together for the long haul.

Please don’t let insidious boredom enter into your relationship through the back door. This is what frequently happens when we are busy placing other things ahead of our time for each other. You know what I mean—the job, the kids, our friend in crisis, etc. There will always be a competing interest for the time you’ve set aside for each other.

Other than natural disasters, threat of death or major crises, do not allow your time together to be invaded by any outside forces. Make sure to create opportunities for you to do things together without outside influence. With more than 50% of today’s marriages ending in divorce, make this small investment in the longevity of your relationship. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. What’s stopping you? Start today.

For just a few moments a day, stop the rush and contemplate the following questions? Is my mindset supporting a loving relationship? How do I really feel? Am I coming from anger or frustration, and therefore so determined to “make it” the way I want it, that I can’t appreciate it the way that it is? Am I looking at my love from the smallness of a victim, waiting for it to come to me, feeling rejected, and therefore always trying to prove my independence? Is being right today more important than being kind today? Has my drive for work overpowered the most important words in my life, I love you? If the answer is yes, please stop for a moment and consider the long term impact of such depreciative behaviour. Remind yourself, that the pain of regret always outweighs the discomfort of humility.

As a lover, it is wise to know where you are coming from in your relationship. If you don’t know this, you might just be projecting onto people, and won’t know anything about your reality, your truth or love. You might forget that what you think causes what you get. You might forget that there is another layer to life where your thoughts and feelings actually transfer to those around you, even if you wear a mask. You might forget that praying to a God or Goddess is a cruel joke if you cannot give love and respect to those whose lives you touch everyday. True religion begins in the reality of your home, and that reality begins with what is deeply immersed in your heart.

This awareness also affects your work. It doesn’t matter whether it is your relationships, your friendships, your finances or your work; you come from the same place in all of them. This is a vital awareness. Some people come from kindness, others from authority, mothering, or fathering. Where we come from in our relationships is the real mirror of where we come from in life. It is the real barometer.

I used to run outdoor experiential learning programs for corporate groups looking for higher productivity and better self-responsibility. I was always stunned to see people who were in fear and denial in their relationships, jump off the highest rope bridge to prove how fearless they were. This ego we have can masquerade around doing amazing tricks, but that is all they are, tricks, unsustainable moments where we “fake it”. The beauty of a relationship is that you can’t fake it for long. Your partner eventually gets to see the real you, and where you are coming from. You just can’t fake it at home for long.

Alone, we can be an angel. We don’t feel embarrassed because nobody saw us eat the whole block of chocolate, or watch that R rated movie. Being single is the same as being busy, we hardly have time to stop and experience the affect of our own thinking and feeling. We don’t even have to know ourselves. We just blame the world and get on with it.

It’s like being two people. When we want something from someone we can be really nice, and when we get it, we can be really careless. Most people are like that in business. They suck up to you when you have what they want, but when they have what you want, like the money for your job, they can turn into the devil.

Sometimes this happens in relationships. At first, when we are in an infatuated relationship with someone who we really want to be liked by, either at work or in a love relationship, we can be very deceptive because we are trying to get approval. So we put on an act in order to get this person to do something. We can’t trust just being our real self; we bundle up our secrets, hide ourselves, even from our children, so these relationships accentuate our shame.

When we live these two lives, we are coming from shame. Manipulating our presentation of ourselves in order to win approval or respect. Then we get into a relationship and we can’t hide it. They see our two faces and even if they totally love us for who we are, we don’t. And nobody can love you more than you. So, we start getting defensive and love is blocked again.

To understand something is to see beauty in it. Emotionally we look at people and see acceptable or unacceptable. Emotionally, we will divide life into these two groups, attracted to one, and avoiding (or trying to change) the other. That is the emotional life, trying to be more acceptable, less unacceptable. Emotionally, this is a powerful way to think because it breeds uppers. Uppers are more acceptable feelings and less unacceptable. But what if this acceptable and unacceptable is a lie? What if there is really a balance between them? You spend your whole life seeking approval, and getting equal rejection and approval. That is called depression, the ultimate fight with the laws of nature.

Long term, deep spiritual happiness comes from the contentment that grows out of the perspective of love. Love in turn, can only pass from us when our mind is still or balanced. This is the opposite of the emotional perspective. Here we have the real dilemma. Emotionally we are on cloud nine if we have uppers without downers (like without dislike) but they are unsustainable, and our true humanity is not made happy by infinite uppers. Just try it, Eat some ice cream. It made you happy. After 20 minutes you are not happy. Now eat some more ice cream. You are happy again, but after 20 minutes you are not happy again. So this time eat twice as much ice cream, in fact three times as much. Are you happier?

For every emotional upper there is a downside. For every dollar of wealth there is a worry. For every new piece of knowledge, there is the conflict of the old knowledge. So the emotional life is filled with emotional achievements (being liked) in which a person thinks, disillusioned, that once they get something, then they will be more happy than before. It is an obsession with the idea that material happiness, life and things and pleasure, are going to make them “happy”

But every something they ‘get’ has duality, two sides, pleasure and pain. From a distance, a new relationship looks like paradise. But inside that new relationship there is also challenge. Our delusional mind - the ego - thinks once we get something sorted out, we will be ok, but we are not. We are ok and we are not ok. Same as before, just in a new place. This is the world of the emotional person. Running after dreams that are really the source of some hidden pleasure, then, even if they achieve what they aimed for, there is depression and sadness. Nothing really changed. They are still lacking love.